A Nonsense Story about a Different Kind of Fairy
This is what I had to use to create this nonsense story:
Character: Fairy
Setting: City apartment building
Object: Comb
Emotion: Annoyed, obsessed
Added extras: Locket
Snowball the fairy was in front of the bathroom mirror of his small city apartment. This was his favourite place in the world. When he was a little fairy, he and his classmates were asked to draw their favourite place in the world and add a caption. His drawing was of himself staring into a mirror and the caption said “any place that has a mirror”. So yes, Snowball did love looking at himself.
‘Oh fairy dust, my hair will just not sit right! Oh pixies, another bad hair day!’ His other obsession was to make sure his bleached blonde hair’s fringe was sitting perfectly, or else he thought, it just would not have the same effect on the lady fairies.
Ding dong!
Snowball put down his gold comb, complete with little diamonds, his favourite. He bent his head down to fit through the door, he was a lot bigger than your average fairy and had abnormally massive forearms, he ate a lot of spinach. He opened the door and was bowled over by a small green zombie with black holes instead of eyeballs. Snowball hit his head on the side table and blacked out.
When he came to, the apartment looked like, well a zombie had come in. His CD collection of Flock of Seagulls was all over the floor and the rest of his possessions were everywhere. He modelled his hair on the 80’s band’s hairstyle.
‘Oh fairy dust! I was warned about these havoc causing little green zombies!’ he groaned and rubbed the back of his head where he had hit it.
‘Dusty stealing zombie!’ he had an unusual way with his words. ‘Oh no…’ he just had a horribly frightening thought, ‘he didn’t dare take my beloved comb, he wouldn’t brambling dare! That little elf – uh zombie!’
He ran to his now trashed bathroom, he took pride in his bathroom looking spotless. Seeing it like this made him want to cry, but like the big, strong fairy man he was, he held it in. He looked for his comb but couldn’t see it anywhere. ‘NOOOO!!! MY COMB!’ Snowball fainted.
The zombie ran back to the bathroom when he heard a thud and tripped over Snowball who was lying across the doorway. ‘Ha ha! A sleeping giant! I’m so funny, better get some water to wake him,’ the zombie turned on the tap and filled up a bucket used for saving water. Fairies were water wise as well. He laughed his evil high pitched laugh and Snowball’s mirror shattered into a million pieces. He poured the water all over Snowball.
‘ARGH!’ Snowball jumped so high his head hit the ceiling. He then lunged at the annoying grinning zombie. Snowball had had enough, the zombie had his comb, wrecked the order of his Flock of Seagulls collection and broke his bathroom mirror.
‘You fairying, dusty pixie stealing ZOMBIE! GIVE ME BACK MY COMB!!!’ Snowball screamed.
‘Have you looked in the mirror?’ asked the zombie.‘No my hair! It’s RUINED and my girlfriend will not be happy about that!’ Snowball shoved the bucket over his head and the zombie kindly drilled two holes in the bucket so Snowball could see. ‘Thanks mate, no wait, you’ve stolen my comb! Oh boy, you’re getting me confuzzled,’ Snowball looked angrily at the zombie. ‘How do you know that I have it? Maybe you accidentally dropped it into the toilet,’ the zombie smirked.‘That wouldn’t happen, my girlfriend always makes me close the lid,’ Snowball explained. ‘Bwahahahaha, that’s so sweet, but you still have no proof I stole it,’ the zombie laughed. ‘You elffing brambling of an oaten chaff!!!’ Snowball had just used the biggest insult he could think of in fairly language and since fairies are so nice, it wasn’t very mean.
The zombie pulled the comb from his pocket and carefully handed Snowball his comb. He was shaken, maybe the fairy insult meant more to a zombie than Snowball realised.
‘You’re all the same you fairies, if you lose your precious comb and wreck your hair, disaster strikes and you have to bring Oaten Chaff into it!’ the zombie whimpered. ‘Oaten chaff is animal food you fairing dusty zombie,’ Snowball replied.‘You are so vain its, well its… HILARIOUS! The zombie laughed and laughed and laughed.
Snowball was standing there watching the zombie having a good old titter and said, ‘hey, how did you drill holes in the bucket without getting my eyes?’ ‘I forgot fairies had eyes, I guess you were just lucky,’ the zombie said after he had composed himself.
Oh tinkling bell,’ Snowball looked like he was about to faint again.‘Hey you know what? Since you’ve made me so happy, I would like you to take this locket as a token of my gratitude,’ the zombie handed Snowball the locket. ‘Um, thanks? You can leave now,’ Snowball was a little perplexed as he led the zombie to the front door.
The zombie had gone and Snowball grunted as he realised the mess that he had to clean. ‘Wait a minny! I can use my, oh so special fairy dust to make it all right again!’ Snowball sprinkled it around his apartment. Then he remembered the locket that was in his pocket.
‘I wonder what is inside it?’ he opened the locket and saw a picture of himself with his wet, ruined hair. ‘Zombie you fairying elffing dusty pixie stealing brambling of an oaten chaff!!!’ he yelled at the top of his lungs. He’d just remembered some naughtier fairy words and felt the need to use them.
‘Oh tinkling bell, better go and re-do my peroxide blonde, stunningly cute, pixieish hair. Oh and when did the zombie even take this photo?’
Ding Dong!
‘Oh not again!’ Snowball put his comb in his pocket and bent his head down to fit through the door……
